Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I think I can......I think I can......I think I can......

The flare up started on Sunday...3 days ago. Since that time, I have only managed the energy to shower once and fix dinner once. I have managed to do some laundry off and on just because moving provides some relief to begin with, but I quickly get fatigued and the pain increases the longer I'm on my feet. I've been doing the exercises that I learned from OT, which also provides some very short term relief. I've never had pain in my back like this, so it's left me baffled and somewhat hopeless to say the very least.

"Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”~Mark 14:38

The body is weak. I have heard the latter part of this verse in my head over and over the past day or so. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. There is great temptation to give in to the disease; to lay helplessly for days on end while fibromyalgia has it's way with me and RA rears it's ugly head. My spirit is crucial to my survival and revival during and after a flare up. My spirit is willing...pushing me, keeping me going, even if my body is incredibly weak, painful, and completely spent.

So, I gave in and called my rheumatologist. As I wait for that return call, I will continue to rest and do laundry (with 3 boys in the house, it's never ending), until I get some additional medical direction to help point my way to recovery. Being laid up by disease isn't something that I have ever wanted to succumb to.

But here I am.

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